It`s Darkness

Somehow today I broke down. Now?? Well not that bright but better i think. What I`m really trying to say here is that. The feeling is so different when we are happy and when we are emo. It`s like we turned into another person. Does this happen to you too? Well, I do. This is the darkness thought i had.

I would like to grief without being asked why...

Why bother being bright when you are not?

Do I really have to smile?

This world is so heart-breaking.

Why being nice when they think it`s awkward?


Yes. That`s what I thought. I dun really know the reason. Maybe surrounding, some reactions. But that`s not the main point.

What I think is, the darkness is needed to digest all the emo, the bad feelings. We might suffer for some times, but of course that helps. It acts like a temporary black hole that absorbs almost anything.

Sometimes when we try to achieve something, we went emo....then someone came and tell us not to give up n to keep trying. Do you like that? Most of the time we do, but we are actually sick being told to do the right thing. Am I wrong? We just need time to give up for a while. For me, giving up is a part of process. If you are not agree I hate you. (still x in the mood).

That`s all for now.............this darkness shouldn`t end yet.

It's Sickness

This entry got nothing to do with me, im just posting this for fun, enjoy..



When suddenly you feel like dead

when suddenly you feel like not doing anything

When suddenly you feel like your heart is hollow

when suddenly you feel like its no life

when suddenly you feel like sleeping not on time,

when suddenly you feel like no one care

when suddenly you feel you are on your own,

when suddenly you feel like emo when you are not,

when suddenly you feel like pissing off,

A: when suddenly you feel like..


B: huh..stop it..

A: why?

B: just what the hell are you doing..?

expressing your feeling?

A: why...is it so wrong..?

B: yes.. who cares.. getta outta here..

You r losers..got no life..

dun get a life

dun ever try to do something u dun deserve..

alone....pathetic.

A: hmm..

B: get lost, dun speak..shut up..

stop..dun get cracked, u r no one to be pitied..

A: ....

B: hey..u r still here..

GOOOOO! disappear!..

please.. i beg..

get gone..

u make me sick..


A: so, that's what u think about me? So, you were pretending?

B: yes!

A: i knew it all..

B: stop guessing..go to hell..

A: well..uh-uhm..its ok..

B: ....

A: u dun have to tell me..

B: .............

A: i know the world hates me..

i won't cry

i' ll live

i dun need you to help me feel worse

i won't be fooled by a human like u

u r pathetic..

hating everyone for no reason..

anyway who are you to judge..

so, u have someone who loves you..?

are u sure u r the righteous?

are u sure u r not one of us..

or r u just afraid because u are one?

give me a break..

there's angel and god behind me..

even if i lose my all..

I still have them..

do you?

if u lose everything..

r u sure u still have something?

no..

u dun have to answer..

i dun wan to know..

this world is sick...

so do i, so do u..

we just need to think of our own sake

not others..

so devils, be gone........................

i like this video, it's a vocaloid, means it's not human who sang this..

feel free to pause the song on the right side when listening to this video.. ^ ^

It's The Key !!

This time i will make a tutorial on how to unlock your jailbroken iphone. I' ll make it as simple.

1. Open cydia on your iphone.

2. Go to manage section and tap 'Sources'

3. Tap 'edit' and then tap 'add'

4. Enter this source 'http://repo666.ultrasn0w.com' Take note that the '0' for sn0w is 'zero'.

5. Let it update database n anything. Then, tap done if u finish adding the source.

6. In cydia again, go to 'search' section and search for 'ultrasn0w', make sure the version of ultrasn0w is 0.93 if it's 0.92, download or update the source packages before installing.

7. T-Mobile USA users should disable 3G before using ultrasn0w.

8. Install and reboot your iphone.

Congrates! Your iphone is now unlocked ..

ULTRASN0W 0.93 supports baseband up to 05.13.04 for NOW..

Be free to watch the tutorial's video ( I trust this guy ) :

It's 'Get Out of The Jail'

So, have you guys jailbroken your iphone?? If you did, have you actually saved your SHSH blobs? I mean, have you backed up your firmware? What i'm gonna tell you is the complete way on how to maximize the use of your iphone. I dun think you will find this complete tutorial anywhere in the internet. So, be grateful.

In case your iphone is still clean and pure, be sure to backup your current firmware, in our case 3.1.3 to cydia before it's too late. Because when apple stops signing 3.1.3 firmware, you won't be able to backup your current firmware ever again. You will need the bakup to downgrade for future use. Downgrade might be useful when your iphone's firmware is accidentally updated to newer version for example. When that's happen u can't restore your current firmware, means u cannot jailbreak your iphone ever again. So, please. Listen. When I don't know when will apple stop signing it but from what i red, iphone 4 will be released on 24 June. ITS SOON. So then i think that's when apple stop signing 3.1.3 . I don't know if you still can do this if your iphone have already jailbroken so don't ask me. Please Google.

To bakup your current firmware, what you need to do is to download a file named AutoSHSH-3.1.3/3.1.2[RC2] . You can download the file from www.ih8sn0w.com . The link of the file is located on top of the page. I gave the clue, hope u guys won't have hard time finding it.

Download it. Before doing anything. Make sure your pc have java installed because this AutoSHSH grabber need java to work.

Then make sure your itune in your pc won't be automatically start or synchronize when your iphone is connected to it. Adjust the setting. Get it done yourself. I think this step needed so that the stupid itune won't get in the way.

After that, turn off your iphone. In case you don't know how to turn it off, just press the button on top of your iphone a few seconds n then slide to power off.

Open the file (the AutoSHSH ) u have downloaded. It will ask whether u have java installed or not. Just click yes if u do.

Here is the complicated part. haha. Not really but you might want to listen to this. So, your iphone is turned off, while connecting it to usb, make sure u press n hold on the home button, i mean the only noticable button on iphone. haha.

Stay there until you see the itunes cable iphone icon on your phone. It's when it enters the recovery mode. Which looks exactly like this.



Then on your pc click on the "Grab my SHSH blobs automatically" . It will upload the upload the backup on cydia. Also you can save it in your computer. Name it and save it anywhere save. You don't have to worry if the file is missing because it's on the web too.

Now you are finish for SHSH part. Disconnect your iphone from usb n wait the itune icon to disappear n then turn on your iphone.

SHSH DONE!!

Now if you want to Jailbreak your iphone...(sure you want) the steps is simpler.
Some of you might didn't know what's different between 'jealbreak' n 'unlock'. Simple, jealbreak is done so that you can conquer the iphone system, so you can modified inside it. Your iphone can be just like USB pendrive whick you can store anything in it. Cool right?! Not just that, u can also install cracked apps and change themes too. It's a lot of themes for springboards, dialer, calcultor, battery, lock screen, sounds out there. That's the benefit, so u dun get bored.

Which means you can't unlock your iphone if you don't jealbreak it first. What is 'unlock' then? Unlock is done so that you can use it in any country instead of just it's factory network carrier. Like softbank (Japan) .

The unlock haven't been released yet but soon it will. If Im not mistaken, on 26 June which is after iphone 4 is released, on 24 June I guess. Im gonna make the unlock tutorial afterward, so just wait.

Do this on your own risc, im x responsible for this. Once you jailbroken, you will void the warrant from apple, think.

So, to jailbreak go to www.spiritjb.com and download the jailbreaker. Click on windows if u r using window or else click mac if you are using mac.

Before u do anything, backup your iphone. This jailbreak has small bug in it. It will erased the files in the camera roll. So copy that manually on your pc.

Make sure the itunes on your pc won't be automatically started when device (iphone) is connected. So it won't get in the way.

Right click the file and go to properties. Go to compatibility mode and set it as run in compatibility mode of windows 98/Me.

Connect your iphone to pc via usb and then open the jailbreak (the file downloaded). Right click and run it as administrator. Then do what it says. This should be appear on screen. Dont disturb it. Make sure the battery does not run out before this process completed or it might crash the system.



Congratulations! You r done jealbreaking. But guess what, you r not done yet. For 3.1.3 iphone you still need to install one more files in cydia on your iphone to complete the jealbreaking.

After jealbreaking, cydia will be automatically installed in your iphone. Go to cydia, n let it download the packages n manage itself first, open it again and go to search section and type 'afc2add' . You need wi-fi to do this because if not you won't find the file.
Then install it. Again, get it done yourself. The iphone will reboot i think. Now, the jealbreaking is complete.

But yet, not as perfect. You might want to install cracked apps don't u. huhu. Well, to do it go to cydia n go to manage section. Tap edit and then add source. Type http://cydia.hackulo.us , when u r done there go to search section n seach for 'installous' . Install it. Now you can enjoy playing cracked apps on your iphone. You can download the cracked apps from http://apptrackr.org/ for free. It's itune button in the apps page, just don't click on it unless u want to buy the apps. Download it on the hosts given at the bottom of the page.

To install the apps, click on the apps file u downloaded, the extension of the file is .ipa . The game will be installed in itune. To transfer the file to your iphone just synchronize it using itune like u always do..kekekeke.

What about the themes? Well to do it go to cydia again n search for winterboard. Winterboard is an apps which will help you to manage your themes. Install it and your iphone will reboot. To download themes, just download it from cydia. But unfortunately from cydia you cant view the themes, so i recommend you to view the themes at http://www.iphoneruler.net/ . View your favourite themes there, find the names n search it in cydia. But not all themes is available in cydia but most do i guess.

When you have already installed the themes. Go to winterboard n select themes. Dun select multiple themes. Just select one. I dun know what happen if u manage to select more than one. Just wonder if doing that will break the iphone haha. Themes can be seperated into dial, battery, springboard, lock screen. There's also complete theme. You can choose the themes multiply if it's not complete theme. Test each first just in case.

After you have selected your theme, return to winterboard and tap 'respring' . And wait for it to get it done.

I think that's all for it. I've shared with you everything i know. Getting to know all this aren't easy. I have spent lot of time to get all this information. Please thank me...lol. I will make next post on how to unlock your iphone afterward. We still have to wait.

It's Him, My God, My All..

Sometimes when we hope for good things to happen, we are disappointed. We are mere human..everything have been decided by Him. Who's for me, my Everything. i'm hot-tempered but i guess everyone else didn't know that. I can't actually bare any small test from Him. Sometimes I ask myself why. I know the reason. Im just finding excuses for myself, to please my emotion. IM WEAK.

Sometimes I'm mad at Him. I know that's wrong. Because He is my God, my only God..who decided everything. Because I believe everything that happened come from Him. Knowing that, I blame Him sometime. I believe HIm with all my heart. That will never change forever. Unless He change me. I always pray that I won't. Cause I love Him.

But I guess it's natural for someone like me, to blame everything instead of myself. Sometimes I can be strong though I cry in my heart like I do right now. I just hope the best from Him. When it want, I feel like crying. Forgive me my God. I wish I were stronger. Im doing my best, help me. Help me to be a good-believer. I dont want to go astray , away from safe track.

I know everything that happened today were tests from you. It's hard. Crying to you sooth me down. Though some people think that crying is lame...I dun care. I ll do on my own way. Cause I believe you my God, that I' ll get rewards from every tests i've gone through.



There is time when I failed.
My God,
U created me..
U r my only one God since ever,
And I won't blame you what kind of human i'm know..
It's big..
There's time when i'm disappointed in you..
But still I tried to grip my faith I have in you..
U are the truth..

Those eyes, those glares, those voices of evil scares me. Why? Why it has to be me? Why they keep doing that even i tried so hard. It's not easy. What else suppose I do?

Why those people can hate me that easy. I didn't do anything that could hurt them. Are they insane? Are they just evil? YYYYY??

I keep asking through my whole life. Since I was born, I always think about others. I always take care of their feeling that i look like a weirdo. I want to be humble. I don't want to be hated, I want to be part of them..like everyone else. But the fact, I failed..cause I scared, cause i respect them.

I've gone through a rough life..my soul bruised do much. Suddenly when my life have changed..I found my friend..God helped me. I didn't forget that this is His gifts to me.

I didn't forget..
When I saw someone like me,
I pity Him so much,
I pray that good changes happen in his/her life..
I pity him,
For being like me,
It must be so hard ..to be like me..
It must be so hard living in different world..
It must be hard to be isolated from real world..

Good things, even bad one is God doing. I know. God tests me though I'm always grateful to him.
Even I never forget him.

I cant fall sick easily. Because Im always grateful to Him that I'm healthy. I always remember how painful it is to be sick. Thank you God.

But i'm sick INSIDE. Those voices, y i keep hearing them. Y do i always know when people saying bad things bout me..always. N y do i always understand those voices. It's x advantages..that's sickness.

I used to be happy when I'm suffered. Cause I think someone like me deserves that. Because bad things keep coming after good thing. So i thought, y dun it all be bad. But now I change, I want to be happy. Considering too much is wrong. I have to think for myself.

I have to be happy. I dun care. When Im happy, everyone will be pleased n happy too. I like to live free as I am. N i dun care. It's just that sometime I fail, but i will get up hard though i fell many times.



God,
forgive me because I cry..

It's an Obsession

It's like forever since i wrote on this blog...that's because i think that it's not really necessary. This blog is more like a 'sad diary' to me and not like other's life journal. That's why. But then i think i need to write at least something to fill this emptiness. Surely i can write boring stuff but im x actually into that..my specialize is talking about my feelings, loneliness, emptiness, sorrow, all that nonsense and all. I thought of writing about my late mother but im not in that mood yet. I'll do when I feel like missing her. SooooOo, what?



Ok, since i got here...I have few obsessions. Now i'll talk about MY obsession. One piece. That's the thing. Well..I din know myself but i think i need to have an obsession.Wait, everyone do. Some of my friends really like games, so they bought ps3, psp, xbox, nds or whatever that nonsense. I thought i like game consoles too. Bu then i realised that i don't. I like to play games sometimes but getting into that kind of obsession kills me. I cant. I played games a lot when I was a boy..yea boy..n i was having somekind of trauma playing games, to win all games, the frustrations, i can't bear that all. So i stop. But im happy if i have psp or ps3 anyway but im quite sure that i will just keep them. Even now i downloaded a lot of games in my iphone but dont really play it all.












So, i know I just like to have stuff. Keeping a ps3 is quite a waste so i craze for this one thing. Uhmm..no, not one it's going to be lots of it. FIGURA. hahaha..I preordered all one piece strong world version figura, and each of them cost a bomb. I mean, for me. Unless if RM200++ to you sounds cheap. lol, I know it's crazy but really..I like to keep expensive things. If I have enough money..perfumes, watches, figura's, game consoles will be my absolute collection. Haha. Even last night i ordered Calvin Klein watch, mahal tuh...huhu retail price is about Rm1000++ but i bought it cheaper because it's sale, and it cost me rm600++. I think it's worth it.












Well then, how about perfumes?? I've checked through internet and make some research on which perfumes suite best on men. Or should I say women like to smell it on men? Should be so.
And also perfumes that men think good on him. There's a few type of perfumes. That I think the wearer should know. Most guy wear cologne. Yes.

Here I simply include perfumes type (dun get confused) ha3 :

• Parfum
• Eau De Parfum
• Eau de Toilette
• Eau de Cologne

Parfum contains the most perfume oil, it's the most expensive and rarely sold. And if any human wears that it should be like the Queen i guess haha. Eau de parfum is common among women and the scents is quite strong, dont bother wear eau de parfum if you are so-called a guy.lol. Men usually wear Eau de Toilette or Eau de Cologne. They are about the same level but of course toilette is stronger but still mild. And i choose Eau de toilette.

Here is the list of perfumes i like to have :

• Unforgivable by Sean John
• Polo black by Ralph Laurens
• Cool Water Davidoff
• Jean Paul Gaultier
• Issey Miyake
• 212
  

There are few others like CK Eternity, Big Boss, and so on. My seniors happened to wear Bvlgari Aqva. It might be nice too. For me, i wear Issey Miyake, it have light woody scents n citrus. Girls like this smell, well not to me but it seems drive them crazy. From what i red. The best part I like about Issey Miyake is because it lasts all day. nice huh. But of course it's quite expensive. kekeke. And I think my next collection is unforgivable by Sean John but last time i smell it, it have strong woody scents. Dun really like that actually.




And a few tips from me, if u want to wear perfumes, spray it on your skin and not on your clothes. The perfumes will react with ur body chemicals n give out your own personal smell. Thats all i think for now.

My advice? Find your obsession, and you won't be lonely.