It's Determination

Like I always, I'm back blogging out of no where .. it's not really because i dont want to update.. but i keep on hesitating because everytime i want to make new post.. i always want to make it as fancy as possible... fancy?! ok ..

So now.. I think it's appropriate for me to write a post about .. current life issue .. hey dun get excited, it's not individual really, it's more like students' life n more like me!! ok.. still me ..
what do u expect, this is my blog.. haha

Recently I have to retake calculus exams because i failed it at earlier semester.. fuuuu, i was doomed. I got to admit that i'm slow or the simplest n heartbreaking word.. that is stupid ..hehe
I dun know hw people look at me but I always think that I'm not good enough n I always know that it's true. Actually I failed 2 subject earlier semester .. "senkeidaisuu" n this shit calculus o so-called "biseki" in japanese. I can hardly understand anything at all in that class.. o.0 ..rteally. I hate biseki. It kills me quite few times. but guess what, who cares..haha.

Ok. And after i returned to Japan after having Hari Raya in Malaysia, i had to take this intensive class. For biseki of course. I spent my time there from 8.45 a.m to 4.30p.m in that class for 4 days!! Who would have stand that?? Me!! There was quite few numbers Japanese student in that class with me, we r forced to squeeze our brain's juice to complete a book full of calculus question. There was basic, standard n harder questions. Like hell. Even the basic questions were not as simple as it looks. But I did try my best. I asked what i can ask. I tried what i could.
Frankly speaking, some questions was so evil that i thought only a sensei can solve. The theory manipulated questions. Like hell.

During that hard times. I always wish that it would over fast. I cant stand that pressure anymore. U know what, I complete that book on my own, I tried to solve some evil questions by finding the answer on the internet. I was lucky because there were some answers online. Like hell. I didn't really study, I focused on finishing that evil book.

This what really is, during that hell .. I thought about improving myself. I wanted to organize my study, my future, everything. I wasso fired up. I want to do everything, I just wish that class n that exam will be over fast! BUt u know, I always knew what will happen. .... Nothing.

I won't progressed, after a hell, i'll lose all of my good intentions. It's disappeared into thin openings, weaknesses. duh .. I knew that would happened. But i still holding on that hope, slightest chance for me to improve myself. Because I'm tired suffering at the end.

well how about you? Are you persistent enough to do what u want to do? Well i doubt i can..hmm
Any idea? BUt hope is a way dont u think. So, it's my first step by hoping. Let's hope. Gachang!

I like this song. Don't anyone dare to deny.. kekeke
(feel free to pause the song at the right side)